What exactly is premature ejaculation? Well, it depends on who you ask, but it is commonly defined as lasting no more than 3 minutes with vaginal penetration more than 50% of the time.
As a general guide, if you can't control your ejaculation, and regularly come to a climax too early during sex without fulfilling your partner, you are one of the many men who are suffering from premature ejaculation (PE).
Some people think that it is a bit of a joke, but men who have suffered from premature ejaculation know how serious it can be - it can even end marriages.
Is Premature Ejaculation Really Such a Big Deal?
Premature ejaculation is far more common than you would think - it is one of the most common sexual problems, affecting between 25 and 40% of men. Some studies show that over 70% of men would like to be able to last longer in bed.
The reason PE is so serious is because it makes you feel frustrated and inadequate as a man. There is nothing worse than for a guy who can't last long enough to fulfill his female partner sexually. The guilt, embarrassment, and anxiety of finishing too soon during sex is devastating for a man's self confidence. And it can destroy relationships.
Men who suffer from severe premature ejaculation often have 'performance anxiety' and even eventually avoid sex altogether because of the feeling of humiliation when they come too soon.
Treatments For Premature Ejaculation
There are many possible treatments, some effective, some not.
One is to put anesthetic gel on the penis before sex, or to use condoms coated with an anesthetic. This is supposed to reduce the sensation felt by the man, and so prolong intercourse.
These have had mixed results; one problem with the gel is that during sex it will also reduce the sensation felt by the woman, as her vagina will also be anesthetized. It can also cause quite severe skin reactions. The treated condom solves the first problem, but the penis can still have a serious skin reaction.
Drugs to treat premature ejaculation are becoming more widely available. One of the known side effects of antidepressants is to delay the male climax, and so new drugs have been developed containing the same basic ingredients. The problem is that antidepressants are very strong drugs, with many unwanted side effects, including anxiety, headaches and nausea and weight gain, to name but a few.
Ironically, one of the side effects can be loss of libido and the inability to get an erection - hardly a suitable treatment for premature ejaculation.
Premature ejaculation is almost always caused by too much mental stimulation. Your mind - NOT your body - controls what happens when you're about to have sex. So you have to start there if you want to change your situation.
To achieve a permanent cure for premature ejaculation, you have to naturally 're-wire' your ejaculatory response. This may sound difficult, but in reality it is not.
Your ejaculation is controllable. The basic reasons for premature ejaculation are mainly emotional rather than physical, and the strongest reason is that you find it difficult to handle a sudden level of sexual intensity. If you can build up your endurance and tolerance to this level of pleasure, you can last longer - in fact as long as you want.
The key to putting a stop to premature ejaculation is by learning how your body behaves at each stage of your sexual response cycle. In other words, if you are quick to ejaculate, you have to learn to recognize your 'tipping point' and how to reduce your sexual arousal. By learning how to stay below this tipping point, you will keep your sexual arousal in check and gain control over your ejaculation reflexes.
This method is not a quick fix - but the reality is that there is no such thing. If you want true, lasting results, you have to work at it.
Lloyd Lester, an true expert in this field, has written a new report "Supercharging Your Ejaculatory Control", which has great information about PE, and tips and techniques to really enhance your staying power - and it's free.